Dressed up in different flavours of life, sipping on our apple martinis, sharing some juicy gossips

Saturday, 30 July 2011

Response to "Battle of the Bulge"

Hey Agile did u miss me...i know i am little late to join the heated discussion (pebble seems to be all heated up)

I think the lady is not very much bothered about her weight being revealed in public, though she would have preferred it otherwise.

And the  husband is also not the kinds who would keep comparing his wife to the wafer-thin models...i don't think he would trade her for anyone else.

It's just a day-to-day a "tussle" to establish supremacy ;)

That's all from the agony aunt for today
Energy Fountain
Agile girl!
ROFL! It was one funny post! I loved reading it. Had a good flow. And conversation are always the best to read..

laughing her lungs out
Couch Potato
Dear Agile:)
When I went through the whole conversation I felt that the wife is so insecure of her looks...not necessary, that she is really ugly or fat  in the actual sense but when compared to the hour glass figure or the size zero she feels she tips the scale may be by a 90 degree...So what???? Damn you women!!!..Can't you love yourself the way you are? There is a big difference between being skinny and being healthy...Off course you should never be obese 'cauz it is not good for your health but there is no need to part of the rat race too...Doesn't she know that healthy models are replacing the anorexic ones on the ramp...and i just got reminded of a very interesting observation one gentleman made one day....who wants a stick thin gal??? A Girl's beauty is in her roundness especially her Butt and her boob....Well!!! This was just an off colour remark he made to make his wife comfortable with herself and tell others that he did not wish her to be any different( the situation warranted him to comment so )..:)...But the question here is her husband too did nothing to make her comfortable with herself...then she would have not gone on cribbing about the whole episode...

That's my take on it....
She Pebble:)

Thanks girls… Don’t worry.. they are just a sweet family … and in no way is the wife obsessed by size zero… it is just that sometimes society puts so much pressure on individuals and this post is a result of the effect it has on people especially ladies…. The only thing is that the wife wants to portray herself as a perfectionist [and it is evident that she is unsuccessful in that ;)]… Also, she is conscious about what society thinks… But at the end of the day, they are a normal family and like Energy Fountain has put it “It's just a day-to-day  "tussle" to establish supremacy”
- (for a change decided to stand on the weighing scale but too scared to open her eyes...
Agile Serenity....)

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Battle of the bulges (of the sexes)!!!

A family was riding back home after a party

Hubby : It was a great party (hubby is all happy and high in spirit)

Wife :Yes. It was a great party until they started the “Guess your family’s weight?” What a stupid game… ewwww!!!

Hubby : You still have it in mind .. Oh come on… It was just for fun…

Wife :Ya right.. I challenge Mrs. Khanna to play that game a few months back.. Just because she took up some Kellogg’s Special K challenge and lost all her weight …she is off to tease the other souls who cannot starve themselves…(sigh)

Hubby : Okay.. so whatever… see what I guessed was accurate… it was exactly what it showed on the weighing scale… your guess did not even come near my actual weight… hahaha….

Wife :I felt like killing you for that!!!! … Why did you have to announce my weight out to the public.. at least, you could have taken off few kilos right… now they are all going to think that it is my ‘actual’ weight…

Hubby : Hey, But that is your weight.. When you stood on the weighing scale, it showed the same weight.. so big deal !!!!!…

Wife :No!!!!…that is not my ‘actual’ weight.. you don’t understand.. what about the weight of my clothes, my jewellery and besides my stomach was full after dinner

Hubby : Huh… but that is how I weighed myself?? I am in Denim with this heavy belt…

Wife :That may be the case for you men.. but for us women… we take our weight only early in the morning , with no clothes on ..that too after we have pooped and peed… if we have washed our hair .. we weigh ourselves only once our hair is dry….all that water could add extra pounds you see….

Hubby : Okay.. who else knows about this???…

Wife :What do you mean who else knows about this!!!!… now everyone who came to the party kn…..

Hubby quickly stops her before she could complete…

Hubby : Nooooo.. who else knows about the ritual of women taking their weight early in the morning.. Stark naked??

Wife : Everybody does…the ‘bare ritual’ is universal …

Hubby : Then why did not my ‘sweet’ wife (‘sweet’ in his sense actually meant ‘one who cribs about every damm thing’) remind me of this universal truth….. You know that I have problems with getting the guys in my team to come to office on time.. hmmm… going to put this up as my FB status ‘ A bare truth –unveiled’… (he quickly takes out his smart phone and starts typing with one hand)

Wife :I did not get it.. Sooo????

Hubby : Soooo at least it would inspire my guys to get up early… the thought of all that ‘live weighing session’ going on would make them spring out of their beds… by the time they sneak into our sexy secretary’s apartment and…. ( he mentally calculates the time it would take ) .. yup… that should bring them to office earlier than now… aren’t you proud of your brilliant husband.. (gives himself a pat on the back )

Wife :Hmmmph.. Crazy…

Their three year old was sitting on the back seat of the car listening to all the conversation…

Hubby : Give daddy a high five son.. you are not going to tell this to anybody in your play school okay…

Son : Okay daddy .. Chocolate…. (how simple and innocent !!! if only adults were so easy to manage)

Wife :Ya..and what about his weight… why did you have to announce his weight blankly…

Hubby : Now what… should he also join you in the morning after he has pooped and peed????..

Wife :Nooo.. he is a baby (yup.. for any mother the child is always a baby).. the average weight of a three year old is 14-16 kilos.. he comes much below that…

Hubby : So why bother… he is an active healthy boy …then what is the problem.??

Wife :But, you know how much was he running around today… he has only been nibbling like a squirrel since afternoon… you should have seen the way all the ladies were glaring at me.. now they will take me as an irresponsible mother.. the least you could have done was at least announce that he was 16 kilos…

Hubby : Okay so let me work that out… taking the weight on the same weighing scale.. I need to subtract 3-4 kilos for my wife, add 3-4 kilos for the kid and take the same weight as shown for myself… is that right ???…

Wife :Finally got some stuff into your empty brain…

The husband chuckles…

Wife :I know that grin of yours.. I know exactly what you are thinking of me…

She starts hitting him with her hand bag…

Hubby : No stop!!! Stop !!!.. I cant see the road.. the kid is watching..

Wife :Then stop smiling.. you are going to get it from me…

She continues hitting him…

Hubby : Hey what is the use of changing channels when there is violence on T.V… he is witnessing live violence….

She stops for a second.. and grasps what he said.. He gets a nice hard whack for that last one…

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Responses to 'Iam special'

Hey the girl pebble,

When I saw the title I thought you are gonna brag all about urself...Lol! But it wasn't so.. Yeah, people are harsh to those who are 'different'. Like I was teased and mocked all thru out my childhood days for being...well... to put it mildly,.. chubby... Well... kids are kids, and they don't know much about hurt feelings and all that. But grown ups???  They are worse.. Honestly, how much does a 5-year old know about working out and healthy diets?!?!? And wat happened when I lost tonnes of kilos? People thought I looked sick and I was much cuter earlier!!!

crying into the couch (he he.. for the drama)
Couch Potato
The world says that to survive competition, you need to be different. But, when you are different, the world does not accept it.. simply because it is not their idea of being different. In short, ignore the world… I think his parents are cool and have dealt with him well. So, no matter how much people mock him, he knows he is special. Besides, compared to orphans, children with serious disabilities.. when you think about it.. he is a perfectly healthy child blessed with a great family.. what more can we ask for…

@ couch potato… everybody has their share J … well I was considered an ugly duckling.. I mean people used to see me with my mother.. and shake their head.. ‘oh she looks like her dad’ (yes.. I don’t mind admitting my dad looks average..maybe below average for others…  but he is a good dad!!!)…. I grew up to have weight and acne issues.. so had to face more shaking of heads and comments...they were all more concerned than my own parents (Man.. am I lucky or what !!! )…. Whatever...  it sometimes surprises me when I see people who have overcome the issue , tease others who are going through the same issue.

--- Agile Serenity
@ She pebble...The boy you are talking about is perfectly fine, you can't call a person with extra fingers as one with disability...and he has got awesome parents, who has instilled enough self confidence in him to tide over the big bad world

When i was in school, till i joined graduation people used to call me "moti"...but i was never fat, i was just fine whereas other girls were skinny, but it made feel like i have done some crime not to be like the rest of them. By the time i reached college i knew how to tackle it and people would not dare to call me names.

And now years later i have actually put on weight, and mom has been after me to shed those extra pounds, she feels i take things too lightly...so i just asked her  mom when i was in school and all our relatives and my friends called me "moti" you never came to defend me, do you think i was fat then? she did not have an answer...i can understand her plight she was also somewhere influenced by the idea of size-zero...but she has been a very supportive mom all throughout, and whatever courage i have it is because she had told me years back that you must always believe in yourself, don't let others influence you to the extent that you  start having  self doubts

"I am my favourite" 
Energy Fountaiin

Hello Dearies:)

Sorry for getting back to you so late. I was buried in a pile of work...finally managed to resurface...Guess What? I met Jeremy again....Jeremy, the hero who taught me a valuable lesson...He was telling me about the different places he visited for his summer break, the fun he had and on and on.....And 
I thought to myself..."He has no idea that I have a whole post dedicated to him"....Love you Jeremy and love your spirit:)
And gals Aren't we all proud of how we are and who we are??? Any time you hit rock bottom..just think about Jeremy and his attitude, I am sure you will overcome it....and I am glad we all have such strong shoulders to lean on, when the need arises.....Love you guys!!!!Mwaaaaah!!!!

The OWL :00"<

She Pebble

Sunday, 10 July 2011

I am special

It's been few days since this incident occurred but that particular moment seems etched in my memory and I guess it will remain so till the end...

I was attending a function; the tight packed hall and the body heat emanating from the crowd made me claustrophobic and I elbowed myself out of the hall for good and to breathe fresh air. Luckily there was a Kirana shop outside the hall and decided to get something to drink and snack....I looked around and found cemented bleachers on the far side of the hall and walked towards it. 

To my surprise I found a young boy(could be around 7-8 years of age) seated all by himself...Surprised, I asked him if his parents knew that he was here to which he nodded without replying and stared at my dew and pringles...sensing that I immediately offered him some...suddenly a smile burst from his face and I told myself, "AWW! He is so cute". 

I sat next to him and we took turns to sip dew and fish into the pringle pack like bum-chums. Then I noticed something strange, I looked again to affirm what I saw was indeed true...To my horror he found me staring and I wished I could bury myself that moment...Before I could speak he said, "See here, on my left hand I have 6 fingers and on my right, look, 7 fingers". For a moment I was speechless...I didn't know how to respond to that and even before I could react he removed his sandals and showed me his feet...7 toe fingers on the right and 6 on left....suddenly my mind was flooded with so many questions that ranged from sympathy to empathy..Like...Does his friends make fun of him? How does he feel about it???, How does his parents treat him??? Is he able to write properly, walk properly...etc....but I was so scared to voice it for the fear of hurting him....He seemed to be least worried or burdened with it, in fact he was so full of life that he started jabbering about his school , class, friends, butter chicken - his favourite dish etc...For a moment I was relieved that we were not discussing anything about his..err!!!I still cannot find a word to call it... additions????

Then he said after sometime, "Do you know my grand mother and grandfather have extra fingers that's why I have them too:)" To my surprise he spoke of it like it was no big deal...My parents tell me that I am special and God love me very much thats why I have these special fingers...They told me that when I was a baby and was sleeping one night God did some magic and the next day I had these extra fingers...My eyes welled with tears luckily I had shades to camouflage them...."Jeremy, you are indeed special", I told him and continued to share our dew and pringles.....

I have never met him after that incident but I learned a valuable lesson that the 
word handicap is in the mind and in our perception of it...Life is indeed a bed of roses if you magically transform the thorns into the positives you need to work on....

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Responses to "Mom, Do you love me?"

Hey energy fountain....

I do feel that like everything else in life, relationships are also prone to change. Any kind of relationship for that matter. Look at all those newly weds coochie cooing all the time, wanting to spend time together always and just cannot take their hands off each other. That is just phase 1.  In phase 2, they become friends, talk mostly about their kids, and fight a lot. In phase 3, they develop a deep bond of understanding, talk very less, but know that the other person is always there. This is not how all marriages are, but lot of good marriages follow this pattern. Same way, relationship between parents and kids, siblings, friends... everything is bound to change... About whats wrong with the girl... it cud be anything from silly to serious... Maybe someone assaulted her sexually, or she witnessed a crime scene.... It could be that she has a huge crush on someone, but don't know what to do about that. It could be just about anything. Mom needs to have an open communication with her daughter. And if tht fails, she should be taken to a therapist....

Lying on the Couch
Couch Potato

Hey Couch Potato....

Something which bothers me is that girls tend to be rebellious at this age and hate parents interfering. But, here things are working in the opposite direction... the mom wants to be left alone...

It is evident that the girl needs treatment. Since the doctors have confirmed that it is not a physical issue, it could be something that is mentally disturbing her.  In our society going to a psychiatrist is frowned upon… There would pesky people who would be waiting to spread gossips about the poor girl. At least the parents need to take her into confidence and arrange for a private counseling.  They need to understand that by holding her hand and being with her, it is in no way going to spoil her confidence but would instead make her a stronger individual.  But this is a typical Indian scenario where MBBS/Engineering /CA is considered the only career options. Her parent’s concern would be that if her mental illness gets exposed, the family name would be shamed and the girl would not get good wedding proposals.  This could be the main reasons why the parents find it hard to accept that the girl needs help.  

Our society needs to treat mental illness on par with other common physical illness. If no effort is taken to reach this level, there will only be an increase in the number of ‘Roshinis’ in our country.
Thinking about the present plight of the girl,
Agile Serenity....
Energy Fountain, Well!!! You seemed to have touched  a very sensitive issue here. Sensitive because of the age factor....At this age her mind keeps wandering without focus and she seems to be a person lacking focus...but the issue here is something else...Years of strained relationship between her parents and her have resulted in this scenario..If her parents were open with her and if she also had tried to put her heart on her sleeve then they would have had some inkling about her state and realized that she needs them - physically(touch,caress,tap on the back), Mentally and emotionally....But what if she did give them signs and they failed to understand or were so busy that they didn't bother to understand...Then I must say..It is not Roshni alone...There will plenty like her whose parents fail to understand their children....They force their kids to excel in all just to be at par with their peers...They fail to ask their kids what they want out of life...I strongly feel when parents force their likes and decisions on kids and do not let them take independent decisions then after sometimes kids become so used to following what is told that when they are in a spot and have to take decisions..they will never be able to take one and will keep fretting about it...so unsure!!!...such kids become confused in life...
To cut a long story short..I guess...The mother is the culprit here..oh btw wait a minute...What abt the father...Does he even exist??? or is he a puppet dancing to mom's tunes....The mom should be brought to her senses, told that if she behaves the way she is doing then her daughter will kill herself one day....never know such minds might have suicidal thoughts too....Or mom can mend her ways, spend time with Roshni, brush her fears away and I am sure she will slowly start confiding....

Deeply sympathizing with Roshni
 - She Pebble - 


Yep girls...i guess it could be a mix of things you have said.
Dynamics of relationship do change with time and good ones move on to become better and stronger, but here there is definitely something wrong with the attitude of the mother.

 Whether the father exists, yes he does, though he might not be a puppet dancing to the tune of the mom, probably he also thinks on similar lines. Counselling is definitely frowned up on in India and children are supposed to like and choose  what their parents like. 

When a friend of the mother suggested that a private counselling could be arranged, the mother hesitatingly agreed, but when asked few days later whether she took the daughter there, her response was in negative...ofcourse the "Family name" and finding the groom, all those things were running at the back of her mind, though she would not accept openly. But i wonder what would  remain of the family name if the members do not survive!!!

To what is wrong with the girl is difficult to say, could be that she is bogged down with the expectations her parents have from her...possibly she is scared that she might not live up to the expectations...it can be anything.

Atleast her mom and dad should try having a open communication with her and give her the assurance that come what may we will stand by you, whether you fail or succeed, you will remain dear to us.

Tried helping Roshni, but failed
Energy Fountain

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Mom, Do You Love Me???

This story is about a mother and daughter. A mother who loved her tiny-tot and so did the daughter. As both of them grew little older the distances between them grew by many folds. The daughter now a 20-year-old charming girl still wanted her mom to be at her side but her mom thought she should be on her own, why ask for a helping hand, wasn't her daughter old enough?

But does growing up means leaving the anchor, not asking for love openly, the way a child runs to sit in the mother’s lap without any second thought, the way they say “moma do u love me?”

This girl named Roshni was a bright student and always tried her best so that she could score well on the parameters set by her parents. Days of schooling got over and the time came to decide for higher studies…she did not know what to choose, she did not like engineering but that was what everyone else opted for or were made to opt for, and that was what her parents wanted her to take up. Not knowing what to do? she opted for BCA, not because she liked it, because she knew that she did not want to pursue engineering...her parents thought she was a lazy bone and that's why she did not opt for the heavy professional course.

She stepped into college made new friends, with every passing day she grew a little, from being a teenager now she was stepping towards being a complete woman, so it was nothing but natural that her curiosity about relationships also grew…but whom should she ask, her mom, her dad, her brother or her friends?...it’s then she came across the many soap operas being aired 24*7 on the idiot box and she found them fascinating…but when she saw the dark side of relationships- betrayal, deceit, infidelity and heart-breaks she was disappointed.

She asked her mom… “Is it true what they show in the serial?”… “Are relationships so fragile?”….and her mom said “would you just stop watching those non-sense soaps…they are figments of imagination. Don’t waste your time watching TV, concentrate on your studies.”

Again the juncture had come when she needed to decide whether you would like to work or pursue higher studies…but when asked by her parents she said I don’t know!!

She was not sure of what life has in store for her – at professional as well as personal level. She started having bouts of nausea, fever, stomach upsets and mood swings.

Her grades started dropping…she was not scoring in 90s anymore…it came down to 80s…her mom started taking her to various doctors but in vain, doctors said she was fine and was not suffering from any disease.

But her condition persisted… though she always liked watching horror serials, now she was scared of them, she would ask her mom “Mom would please hold my hand and sit beside me till I fall asleep.”

Her mom said to a friend “what a waste of time, my daughter asks me to sit beside her and hold her hand,”…her mom feels either Roshni has lost her mental balance or is lazy and trying to avoid studies. And is sure that she should not be wasting her time listening to her anymore. When her friend suggested that probably counselling could help Roshni, she refused.

What do you think?? Is her mom right? What has gone wrong with Roshni? What should be done? Is going to a psychiatrist all that bad? Is it true that only mad people go to psychiatrist or anyone with some sort of disturbance in life could approach them?