Dressed up in different flavours of life, sipping on our apple martinis, sharing some juicy gossips

Monday, 19 September 2011

I am Angry and Hurt!

As I scanned through the Pictures for the last time, my eyes welled and however hard I tried I couldn't stop the floodgate and what surprised me the most was my soft wails. I heard myself sobbing uncontrollably. The Echo reverberated in my ears and it just told me I hadn't cried so loudly in years. Thank God! I was all alone as if Nature connived with the Psyche of my mind to ensure I burst out when I had no one to be comforted. But did I really need somebody to comfort me? No! I am so hurt and so angry that no amount of consolation could balm my blistered soul.

As I was casually talking to a friend at another friends' party, She happened to introduce me to her Boss whom she learned was from my native place. You really cannot measure the swell and the pride you get when a total stranger you meet actually knows your family, your relatives, have mutual friends as you and finally knows your house and its location (not the Google map one)...He exclaimed "What a beautiful house that was! and added, "I must say you were quite lucky...having had the privilege to stay in that house for so long, after all it kinda 92 years old rite...and went on to list a few other information oblivious to me...now how the hell did he know all that..and remember that all these details were not on FaceBook or on a Google search...my my....

It always make me wonder how interested the people in Kerala are in other's  personal details be it names, events, secrets or other vital information.....Well! Leaving all that...He said, "In today's date if you were to built such an old fashioned house like yours with such beautiful wooden ceilings and such spacious rooms, then no doubt it would run into crores and then he dropped the bombshell, a piece of information I had no idea about.."you know last week I passed your house and was so sad to see it smoothed down, bulldozed, and now I really cannot Imagine that place minus your house...The rest of the words felt deaf to my ears as all I could make out was his mime demonstration...my friend sensing my shocked demeanour pulled me aside.

She asked me, "Are you alright?" And all I could give her was blank look as I asked myself, "Am I Alright? and my mind shouted, shrieked, screamed to her..Hell no!!"But I didn't hear those words coming out.

As I climbed the stairs to my house his words reverberated in my head, "smoothed down, bulldozed"

My home, where I grew up. Spent most of my life and a place I always could be myself; stretched my leg as I lazily sat on my Appacha's antique chair with an arm and a leg rest, reading an M&B, my room which had posters from top to bottom, which I myself had to pull down when my brother legally inherited it(The day I got married). The countless visitors we had as our home was at a prime location and so easily accessible to any person who wanted to drop in....And not a day would pass when my mom would not have to make an extra cup of tea for a visitor.

The mango tree at our backyard which blessed us with small juicy mangoes that even before the mangoes were ripe we would get requests from friends, neighbours and relatives for their share, the countless times I stood staring out of the window looking at passerby's on cars, buses or pedestrians....That house was not just another structure, It had so many memories etched, the countless cries, bouts of happiness, naughtiness, all the nitty gritties of life that the roofs and the four walls were witness to.....

One day my parents simply decided to put the house on sale as they were tired of the next to main road life and there was also a possibility of Road widening and other headaches if the new government that was taking over then would bring in place..Within a month's time - An individual made an irresistible offer as he saw our house (actually our piece of land) a prime location for his commercial dreams...In a span of 2 months all the formalities were done and the ownership was transferred.

He bulldozed my memories, my home, and is building his commercial one there..I wouldn't really blame him, He is just a business man after all who invested such a huge amount.....But it's my home that's no more....I wish I had that money to give to my parents to keep them from selling it...It's just that moment when I felt had I been filthy rich????

But I really cannot blame my parents too, they were just being practical, when they decided to move out at the right time....But what about those zillion hours I spent of my life there? Does it have any value at all????

Who cares??? I am sure my new house can never match up to my bulldozed old home.


  1. Very touching post!

  2. one can keep the memories in heart, but not otherwise forever.

  3. @wicked Laughs - Thanks!

    @Renu - Very true. But the pain you feel when you hear such a piece of information from a total stranger just pierces your heart.