It is wiser to treasure your memories than to recreate it

Onam is a festival celebrated by all the people of Kerala. Even though my childhood was never in Kerala, my mother made it a point to see to it that I and my brother celebrated it in the true ‘malayalee’ way. Now miles away from my near and dear ones, I have a friend who used to amuse me with her childhood experiences. Onam, being her all time favorite, I would sit in admiration as she poured out memories about the ‘Pookalam’ (flower arrangement) … the grand Onasadya (vegetarian feast) … their local ‘King Mahabali’ (Onam is celebrated to honor this king) and ‘Vamana’……the Puli Kali (masked leopard dance)… Kaikotto Kali dance (traditional dance )… the roadside hawkers and vendors who put up their small stalls only during the festival…. the list went on and on…


So, this September we both decided to fly down to Kerala to celebrate Onam in God’s own country. We were head over heels, counting down days and making plans. All worked out and we landed on the first day of Onam. We hired a cab from the airport to her small town. The paddy fields, lakes, coconut palms and greenery were truly a visual treat to the eyes…




The scene was excellent until reality started to unfold before our eyes… Her first disappointment was when she saw that there was no ‘Pookalam’ laid out in front of her house… it took her some time to digest that they now had to buy flowers at a high cost for that purpose. Too tired and hungry to protest, we decided to freshen up and rushed to indulge in steaming hot ‘sadya’ and paysam (kheer)…Well, our hunger quickly died out when we discovered that the empty table and lack of food aroma in the house was because the caterer was late to deliver food. She refused to listen to what her family had to say about assigning Onasadya to the hotel that had the best paysam and most number of dishes…..


That took me some years back to a time when I would sit on the kitchen table in my frock, watching my mother cook as I munched away on the fried coconut slices. I still remember what she used to say about the two humble but essential Onam dishes – When cooking, two things are difficult – to spoil an ‘avial’ and to cook the perfect ‘erissery’. But, now I think this rule is not applicable because to be in business, the hotels better cook tasty food.


This was only the beginning of the surprises that awaited us. We discovered that the man who used to dress up as ‘Mahabali’ passed away few years ago. There was nobody else who took up that role. The boys and men who used to wear costumes for the ‘Puli Kali’ and entertain the locals with their dance steps were missing.. Some of them had moved into cities with secure government jobs and some had become IT professionals with deadlines to meet even on an Onam day. Those who were not lucky in this category took up drama and dance as a profession. This was their peak season when they got even overseas offers.


We decided to walk back home and watch T.V. because her neighbor told us that the celebrations were more elaborate in cities than in their remote area. That was when we came across a news report which stated that Kerala had a record sale of meat during Onam … What !!! Onam and non-vegetarian ??? It just does not match…


So, that means going forward when we sit down for a ‘sadya’, we need not get shocked if we see a chicken roast walk into our banana leaf and excuse itself to create some place between the ‘sambar’ and ‘thoran’ (two buddies from the original menu of Onam dishes)


Hmmm…. this was not what we expected but this was reality experienced in a small town of Kerala.


Are we disappointed? Actually we were but not now..… this change would have come over the last 10-15 years. It is just that inspite of our regular visits to Kerala, we realized it only now. We need to accept that our priorities have changed too.


So, this is Onam of the 21st century.


I know I am late but still, I cannot stop myself from wishing –


My belated hrudayam niranga “ Onashamsakal” to all…….

Responses to "Death of Innocence"

Hey Energy Fountain

You did raise a very valid issue here but the problem would be "Will Anybody bother?". Parents are so proud to show off their talented children in reality shows that they are willing to cross the line or few rules in parenting which we were subject to us at our age - like no makeup,designer or revealing outfits, blow dried hair and even plucked eyebrows till you are 'old enough' and that 'old enough' age was when we got into college....

When I look back at few of my old school pics I wish I could hide under neath the bed, I looked so pathetic with my over sized specs, old fashioned hair style and dressing sense but hey I was still a kid then....no fashion diva...

Recently there was an offer in one of the very popular beauty parlours here - 50% off on facials for kids aged 10 - 15 years of age...OMG..Can you believe that? But it is the truth of today...We cannot ignore it...

Worryingly

She Pebble:(

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hey you fountain girl,

I agree... Innocence has been lost and buried under debris. Though I love to see lil girls dressed up in cute outfits, it is disturbing when I see them in sexy clothes. I also cringe when kids talk like grown-ups. Its an absolute pleasure when they talk their age. I don't know how we stop them, or to what extend can parents control and influence their kids' lives. These days even 5-year- olds have a facebook account. Anyways, it was a good read girl:)

Ciao

Just outta the bed

Couch Potato

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Energy Fountain.....

Don't worry..... we are in no way old fashioned or ancient ... it is just that our mothers allowed us to enjoy our childhood to the fullest.... In the race for the survival of the fittest...  the limit gets crossed ...children get misguided and parents fall for it...Children are great imitators... they don't understand the right from the wrong... also, agreed that it is difficult for parents to control everything around  kids .. but parents and elders need to teach the young minds that this is not reality and that childhood comes only once...

Right now feeling disgusted watching a five year old trying to dance as 'Sheila' Ki Jawani in a reality show.... OMG she is even trying out the  Dhak Dhak movements..... I dont mind kids dancing for the song.. but they can dance in their own style right! .... why do they race to their Jawani at this age?????

- Yours Agile Serenity.......

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Yes she pebble the trend is disturbing and I don't know what should be done to stop it. And couch potato even I know kids having Facebook accounts, i thought only 18-year-olds were allowed to open an account, or  I just imagined it?
Thank you Agile for empathising with me, I think we should thank our parents for letting us live our childhood to the fullest :)


love u all
Energy Fountain

Death Of Innocence

I was seeing pictures of one of my niece, oh boy! she looked awesome, and she is hardly two-years-old. Yes! she looked awesome, not adorable. I was trying to figure out what was so different about the pictures, but then I gave up, telling myself “you and your eye for details!”

Few days later I saw this picture collection on Yahoo called “celeb moms”, Tanuja with Kajol, Hema Malini with her daughters, Sridevi with her daughter, and Sushmita sen with her newly adopted second daughter.

Kajol and Esha looked glamorous, nothing new, it’s part of their profession, but Sridevi’s daughter who is not even 15 years old, looked as if she has been ripped off her innocence and is getting ready to step into the Bollywood. But Sridevi looked pretty content showcasing her daughter.

And at that very instant it hit me like a bolt from blue that my niece’s picture had this uncanny resemblance with Sridevi’s daughter, no, not looks wise, but the way she looked devoid of innocence, the way she was been dressed in those fashionable gowns, which in earlier days we used to see actors wearing while walking down the red carpet.

Who is to be blamed for the death of innocence? kids, their peers, or their parents? I think it’s started by the parents in the initial years and later on the children take over the highly taxing responsibility of looking glamorous. Otherwise how do you explain a two-year-old posing like a Miss Universe Contestant (I might be sounding sarcastic, but I am still trying to get a hold over it).

When I look back at mine or my brother’s childhood pictures, we looked so innocent, even our school and college day pictures did not have a pinch of those ‘lights on you’ effect.

I remember the only thing for which I used to go to parlour along with mom as a kid, was for a haircut. And the first time I got my eye brows done was after I finished college (does that sound like I come from the stone age?). But neither my mom nor my friends had at any point of time said that I should have lotions and cosmetics dripping from top to bottom. My mom always laid emphasis on hygiene and being presentable, but never on being glamorous.

But these days ‘glamour quotient’ seems to be a very important part of one’s social profile. I see these little girls all dressed up like Aishwarya Rai, so I wonder what kind of pressure Sridevi’s daughter might be going through to look her best.

Earlier the stages in a person’s life were childhood, teenage, adult, and old age. But now childhood, teenage, and adult phases seem to have been clubbed. It actually worries me, I just hope that when I have my daughter I would not behave like those celeb moms!